Passengers, we apologise for the congestion. The train that hit the woman is understandably upset and has gone on stress leave. We assure you that we are doing all we can to manage the chaos. Please do not panic. Please do not run. Please stop screaming. Do direct judgmental stares at the woman in the red feathered hat — her son was swept along by the crowd into the next carriage whilst she was searching for her soul in a handheld mirror. Do close your eyes and sway to the rhythm of the train tracks, but please do not press your body against the passenger next to you. The man in the green polka dot trousers — please take your hand off the lady’s back. She claims she has never met you. Please maintain a respectable level of personal space, and passengers, please stop flexing your toes.
I have been in the commuting business far too long to be surprised by this. The trespass I mean, not the chaos. That cop and I, we’ve seen them all — the broken men, the hollow men: men in need, men in debt, men so desperate they are in need of debt, for the drugs, for the drag, for the rehab, then for the drugs again. We’ve seen them disappear under the tracks.
But I must confess — that cop, he looked like he had seen a ghost. I would have asked him what was wrong, if not for the blue pinstripes in carriage three who kept pulling on the rope just to annoy me.
Normal service should resume shortly. We thank you for your patience.
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2 comments:
Um. This might be totally inappropriate, but... I love your sense of humour. :)
I wonder what will happen on the train next...
Um. Which part of that comment was inappropriate? I didn't inadvertently let known that my closest relative had died did I? Or that I didn't vote at the last election? Oh wait, that was somewhere else. So, no, nothing inappropriate there. Except perhaps the placement of a fullstop after 'Um'. I don't think it passes as a sentence. Or even a word. Um.
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